


Don't put me down

by Mufffy



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: :), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Military, Clinging, Crying, Fluff, Gay, Hugs, Kissing, M/M, Men Crying, Military AU, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but i mean, i love it, i mean jer does kiss him, idk - Freeform, it's hard to explain but, jer a clingy boy, my brother - Freeform, oh im a sucker for it, omfgthere'satag, they can be dating or not, vent - Freeform, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 14:12:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13882542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: i made myself cry hhhh





	Don't put me down

**Author's Note:**

> YKWUEDJSH, so okay basically back in febuary on the lest week of feb i got sick, saturday through like wednesday and refused to do ANYTHING and so then i wrote and got like lots of writing ideas and ive been working on other things a lot more and i just happened to finish this one first and oops im sorry ?
> 
> i took a rlly long break but it was kind of nice
> 
> also like,,, hmu if you wanna nag at me for being lazy or like, want me to write somthing for you because i love writing https://radioactive-remedy.tumblr.com/

Jeremy mumbled the same notes that were just said as he wrote them down. He hated college. He hated being the only person alone in a dorm. He hates staying up all night alone and getting help from Christine and only Christine for his homework. No Michael, no best friend. No more late night smokes or talks. He hadn’t even played video games since Michael left. Even trying to makes him upset again and he’s just now adapting to being away from Michael for three years.

Not even before Michael was done with high school he finally made his decision about leaving for the military. Sure, Jeremy knew he’d go through horrible withdraws and countless nights of sleep, but he wasn’t going to full on tell Michael no for his selfish reasons. Michael wanted this and wanted to go. So as much as Jeremy was gonna fucking hate it and miss Michael, he let him leave. Michael never stopped him 

As guilty as he felt, letting him just walk out of his life to his potential death, he did. He just loved Michael and wanted him to be happy but after about a month of Michael being gone, Jeremy realized that he couldn’t be happy if he had died. He was always haunted by that thought. That Jeremy might’ve won the battle but lost the war. He hated how that situation was with Michael literally in war.

He sighed, trying to focus on the class again. He focused for a whole five minutes, writing down a few things about graphic design. Random bull shit he’d have to make sense of later. He shrugged it off and sighed, the thought of 3D-design scaring him. Yeah. That’s what scared him.

Another ten minutes passed, slowly, but surely and he gave in to dropping the notes and just listening. He watched the Professor turn off the overhead projector and turn the lights back on. He adjusted quickly and checked the time. Forty minutes. He rolled his head around, looking down at the rows ahead of him before looking at the other people around him. Always sitting by the stairs, quick escape and no one sits next to you. He smiled a little.

He watched as class rambled on and about some guest speaker that was supposed to show up yesterday but didn’t make it. Yeah, he remembers something like an apology yesterday. Vaguely, about a history lecture on war? He hated the topic already, promising himself to just sit through it. The thought still killed him.

“Yesterday, he could not make it” His professor droned on. Jeremy yawned slowly, laying his head down and closing his eyes “But thankfully, he’s able to make it today! A wonderful; First hand experienced-” Jeremy’s brain cut the rest of his sentence off while his brain powered off. He rubbed his eyes, folding his arms to lay on them as a pillow. The patches from Michael’s hoodie made it slightly uncomfortable, but it was something of Michael’s and Jeremy wasn’t going to stop just because it was uncomfortable. 

His brain registered a familiar voice though, making his eyes open to stare at the wall and the people on the right side of the room. He shrugged it off and sat his head up, propping it up with his arm. He did know it was someone from the military, feeling his heart break a little. Of course, it had to be the one thing to taunt him the one day he was thinking about Michael. 

He shook his head and thought about just getting up and leaving but knew better than to. He looked at the second story stairs in the back and figured he could leave through them. He weighed his options, staring back at the man in green, talking softly before he was handed a microphone. 

“I uh... Know you’re expecting a lecture” Jeremy tensed in his seat and froze, staring at his notes. No way. He swallowed, feeling his throat go dry. He felt his hands shake as he tried to move, petrified in fear “But what I really came here today, was to see a certain boy…” Jeremy looked up slowly at the man, feeling his heart race. He knew that voice. It might’ve been three years but he knew “Uh, I think I see him up there!” Michael laughed. Michael did, the laugh he was hearing was all Michael’s.

Jeremy whimpered in his seat, already tearing up. His eyes burned from staring too long “I came here to see my Player two. Is he gonna hug me or what?” Michael laughed, waving to him. Jeremy’s face slowly heated up, his body panicking. Michael’s hoodie wasn’t helping, but he’d be damned if he was ever taking it off now. Jeremy felt people’s eyes on him. He knew they were staring, but he couldn’t find the reason to care. 

He stood up with his legs shaking as if he’d fall at any given second. He swallowed and slowly walked down the stairs, taking one step before bolting it down them. He nearly tripped and would’ve fallen down half the flights if it wasn’t for how tall he was. He didn’t slow down when he got to the bottom either, jumping at Michael. He could’ve sworn he nearly knocked him over.

He reached anywhere and everywhere he could for leverage. Anything to touch, to hold onto, to not let go again. He even had his legs wrapped around Michael’s waist, Michael holding him up by his lower back. Jeremy sniffled in Michael’s ear, trying to calm his breathing, only to sob more. It was like some dream come true. After years of waiting and hoping, he was right there in his arms. He leaned up slightly hold Michael’s face, kissing everywhere. His forehead, his cheeks, above and around his glasses. All over his face. He hiccuped right in Michael’s face and laughed at his own clumsiness before burying his face into Michael’s shoulder again.

“I missed you too” Michael whispered, one of his hands coming up Jeremy’s back to hold onto his neck. He hadn’t expected that from Jeremy, but he wasn’t necessarily going to complain. Jeremy took a breath into Michael’s shoulder, sobbing into it instead “Aw... Don’t cry buddy” He laughed, patting Jeremy’s back.

“Y-You’re... You’re ba-ack” Jeremy didn’t bother to whisper, being loud and clear. Well, he didn’t sound that clear in between the tears and spit dripping down his face. But Michael couldn’t find the sense to care. He was seeing his best friend again “H-How are yo-ou h-h-here?!”

He couldn’t help but laugh, squeezing Jeremy’s torso before rubbing his back “Magic!” He smiled, laying his chin on Jeremy’s shoulder again to stare at the few people’s phones pointed at him. He smiled sideways, uncomfortably thinking about how Jeremy would react to that later.

Jeremy sniffled, wiping his nose on Michael’s hoodie before he slowly leaned back, his legs staying in the same place. He took a breathe, trying to get it to stop stuttering. He looked at Michael’s face, holding Michael’s jawline and his cheeks in his hands. He looked so different, but it was his Michael. His one and only Michael that was back. Jeremy coughed, swallowing so he could try and breathe. He took a deep breath and stared into Michael’s eyes. His thumb grazing over Michael’s cheekbone, just under his glasses. He stared, feeling Michael’s face as if he wasn’t truly there.

“You done crying?” He grinned, sending Jeremy into a long whine before hugging Michael again. Michael only laughed and held him closely, rubbing his back “I’ll take that as a no” He mumbled, listening to Jeremy’s hyperventilating. He watched as the professor smiled and nodded at Michael. Michael took it as his cue to hush Jeremy and walk him out of the room, holding him “Hey, you gonna stop crying yet?” He whispered, waiting for Jeremy’s response. He just shook his head, holding onto Michael’s neck a little tighter “Don’t choke me Jer” He whispered, patting his shoulder.

Jeremy laughed a little, loosening his grip to feel Michael’s curly and buzzed head, taking in his own deep breaths to not choke. He sat up just slightly, his hands brushing through Michael’s hair “I.. I-I don’t know” He mumbled, trying to not laugh. The next second he’s laughing and shaking to the point he’s crying again, his vocal chords on fire. His throat hurt but he wanted to scream. He wanted to hug Michael and never let him go. God he just might.

“You don’t know?” Michael mumbled, talking to him like a child. Jeremy laughed, rubbing his eyes even if it did no good to the new tears coming in. He sniffled, wiping his face so he could look at Michael “Hi” He smiled that one smile Jeremy remembers as the smile he gave Jeremy when he left. His eyes crinkling in the corners and his teeth shining widely.

Jeremy laughed, wiping the side of his face “Hey..” He sniffled, calming himself down again “I-I can’t believe you’re- here!” He laughed again, trying to keep himself from crying. He kept giggling under his breath, feeling Michael’s hair and face, pushing up Michael’s glasses “You’re real!” He laughed a little louder, watching Michael laugh.

“Would I come all this way to come and see his best friend, only to be fake? You have small faith in your best friend Jer” Michael smiled “Of course I’m real! I’ve been dying to come back the day I left purely because of you!” Michael grinned.

Jeremy shifted his feet, staring down at Michael “I missed you after like... A day” Jeremy smiled, feeling his uniform. The rough material, the patch on his chest with his last name “You look nice still” Jeremy mumbled, wiping his eye again.

“Fuck Jer, You still look twelve” Michael grinned, expecting a laugh or a punch but all he got was a smile and a short-lived hug.

“I feel twelve” He admitted “Might as well be… With you being all grown up and a man, I’m just a college kid..” He mumbled 

“Jeremy Heere: twinky twelve-year-old looking college student” Michael joked, listening to Jeremy’s high laughter. He snorted once before cutting his own voice off. Michael blinked, not used to that. He was used to Jeremy’s high pitched squeals and thousands of snorts when he laughed.

“Oh! Uh- You can put me down now..” Jeremy stared at Michael, almost pleading “If you want that is” He mumbled, his hand gripping the fabric on Michael’s shoulder.

“What? After three years of not seeing my best friend, he expects me to put him down? No way” Michael smiled, feeling Jeremy’s warm embrace again. Jeremy just hugged him and hugged him for the longest time. He readjusted Jeremy’s position at some point, holding him loosely by his thighs. He was just quiet now, holding Michael silently. He’d sometimes get a small whine and feel Jeremy gripping the back of his shirt. Michael absolutely loved this feeling. It felt like when he left for band camp for a week Freshman year and Jeremy wouldn’t let go of him for an hour. Expect this time it’d been three years and they were adults. Kind of.

“You doing okay bud?” Michael whispered, keeping his voice soft in Jeremy’s ear. Jeremy didn’t respond, only held on tighter to Michael’s shirt.

“Yeah. I’m doing really good” Jeremy mumbled, quickly squeezing Michael again before letting go “I just missed this” He looked down at the ground behind Michael and stared at his shoes. He sighed quietly, hugging his neck tightly. It was a lot to take in, randomly having your best friend back after years of thinking he’d be dead. Only a few offhand chance texts. Texts that were never sent, some that were delayed. After a few months, they gave up on texting and just never talked. And Jeremy knew it was his fault for letting Michael just leave.

“Aw buddy, you gotta stop crying” Michael laughed, rubbing Jeremy’s back. Jeremy rubbed his eyes and noticed his unsteady breathing. He didn’t even realize he was crying again. He sniffled, letting his thoughts take over again. How Michael was here. Michael was in front of him. In his arms, Michael was holding him. Michael hadn’t ever let go of him. He wouldn’t until Jeremy absolutely needed to.

“I’m sorry” Jeremy whispered, wiping his eyes. He breathed deeply, burying his face in Michael’s shoulder. Michael must’ve noticed the unsteady tension in Jeremy’s voice because there were a few things Jeremy had been sorry for.

“I’m sorry for leaving you... I should’ve known you’d be like this when I got back” Michael mumbled, his own voice turning sour.

Jeremy shook his head “I let you leave- all because I’m stupid”

“You’re not stupid, You’re just…” Michael stopped himself. He knew. Obviously, he knew. Jeremy was stupid in love with Michael and Michael loved him just as much. It went unspoken. No one ever mentioned it, but he did talk to Christine about it. They knew. They knew that each other knew. But it still was an unspoken subject.

“Fuck, I missed you too much for my own good” Jeremy laughed, feeling Michael let out a sigh. Relief of changing the subject.

“I think I missed you more” Michael mumbled, pulling Jeremy up again to hold his thighs.

“...You didn’t” Jeremy whispered. He was right, Jeremy missed him more. There’s no way that Michael had missed him more. 

“I don’t think I did either” Michael laughed, admitting it. He knew for a fact Jeremy missed him more. Michael gripping Jeremy’s leg before moving to hold him up by his bottom.

“You’re touching my butt, dude” Jeremy mumbled and smiled against Michael’s shoulder.

“Wouldn’t be the first time” Michael laughed, feeling bubbly inside before frowning. His heart hurt at the fond high school memories. He remembers the day he had to leave. Jeremy refused to let go of him. Kind of reminds him of right now.

“I really missed you” Jeremy breathed, his voice small and quiet.

“God, I can tell Jer!” Michael smiled, looking at the posters in the hall. He thought about Jeremy probably had over half of them memorized three times over. It almost hurt to think about Jeremy being anxious. He knew Jeremy was, but it was a little sad to think about Jeremy still having it.

“Don’t ever put me down” Jeremy whispered, holding Michael’s head.

“Wasn’t planning on it” Michael mumbled, rubbing his back, once again. Just slower.


End file.
